Tests of Faith
by White Wave Dancer
Summary: A true story. Rated PG-13 for language and for overall mature content. But it really is inspirational, and the moral at the end is priceless. *COMPLETED*
1. No Joke

*Note: All names in this story (including my own) have been changed to protect the innocent.   
  
Tests of Faith  
By   
White Wave Dancer  
  
Chapter 1  
No Joke  
  
For the past two summers, I have gone off to Wisconsin for three glorious weeks at   
musical theater camp. My first summer at camp, I was blessed with the friendship of a   
wonderful girl named Melissa. We were roommates that first year, and she, having been going   
there for four years already, showed me the ropes. She was my best camp friend my first year,   
and leaving her was the hardest part of leaving camp—especially because I thought she would   
not be able to return the following year. But this summer, I received a most welcome surprise.   
At the bowling alley that would act as a bus station to ship the Chicago-area campers off to   
Wisconsin, I encountered Melissa. She would be at camp with me after all! When we arrived at   
camp, I was met with yet another wonderful surprise. Melissa and I would be roommates again   
this year!  
  
I think one of the reasons that Melissa and I are such good friends is the fact that both   
of us are Catholic. There are very few Christians at the theater camp we attend; most of our   
fellow campers are Jewish. And even if there were more Christians, it's no secret that Catholics   
and Protestants think pretty differently. Both of us being Catholic, Melissa and I thought along   
the same lines. It was so much fun to get up early with her on Sundays to hear mass, then   
returning to camp, free to reflect upon the homily on our day off. I loved going with her into the   
stairwell to discuss God, and returning feeling so full of His glory that it was almost more than   
I could contain.   
  
One time, we got to discussing God on the bus ride back from a trip to a roller rink, and   
Melissa, becoming very excited, earnestly patted my knee, squealing, "God is so smart!" I   
laughed when she did that. It was not a mocking laugh, just one of joy, because she's right! God   
really is so smart! I also laughed because I could tell that Melissa truly loved God above all   
things, just as all Christians are called to. I believe God was the one who brought Melissa and   
me together, that we might inspire one another and overcome tests of faith together. And my   
second year of camp, we worked through one of the most difficult and fulfilling tests of faith I   
have ever faced.   
  
Like last year, there were two other girls in our room besides Melissa and me. Nancy I   
knew from last year. She was a bit opinionated, but was otherwise pretty cool. Besides, she liked   
ballet as much as I do, so I knew we could get along just fine. Bernadette was the fourth girl in   
our room. I didn't know her because she hadn't come to camp the year before, but she seemed   
nice enough. She always claimed to be in a bad mood, but I never understood why. If this is what   
she's like in a bad mood, I thought of Bernadette with a smile, then her good moods must be just   
wonderful. In the last week of camp, I would learn otherwise…  
  
***  
  
"Oh!" I exclaimed eagerly, my voice echoing through the stairwell and breaking a   
reflective silence that had settled over my friend and me. Melissa, from where she was seated a   
few stairs below me, glanced up at me.   
  
"What?" she asked, always ready to listen to something I had to say. I grinned, knowing   
she would appreciate the thought that had popped into my head.  
  
"On September 11," I began, immediately plunging into my story, "after I got home   
from dance class, my family said a family rosary in honor of the victims of the attack. Because it   
was Tuesday, we said the sorrowful mysteries, which all have to do with the crucifixion of   
Christ. That seems pretty appropriate considering what had just happened, right?" Melissa,   
intrigued, nodded wordlessly and waited for me to continue.  
  
"Well, I really felt comforted after praying the rosary," I went on, growing increasingly   
excited as I relived my moment of inspiration, "and then I realized that because we had said the   
sorrowful mysteries on September 11, we would say the glorious mysteries—the ones having to   
do with the resurrection—the next day! Doesn't that seem appropriate? To meditate on the   
crucifixion on September 11, when so many people died, and then to meditate on his   
resurrection the day after? Isn't that so cool?" Melissa smiled, instantly touching upon the   
source of my excitement.   
  
"It is cool!" she agreed. "I saw a picture of the World Trade Centers just after the planes   
hit, and the smoke seemed to form the face of the Devil. Then, I saw a picture of the rubble   
afterwards, and a lot of the pieces of the building had fallen in the shapes of crosses! I thought   
that was pretty cool, too!"  
  
I considered this, a wide grin splitting my face. God was as saddened by the attacks as   
we were, and He made it known. But then, He also made it known that justice would be done,   
and every life lost that day would see His face, and every soul would be taken to its proper   
home.   
  
As fallible human beings, we are sometimes reluctant to believe in something that we   
cannot see or touch. My father says that's why God occasionally sends us miracles—to give us   
something to hold onto. That's why Catholics put up icons in their churches. As Melissa and I   
had already agreed, the icons in a Catholic Church are not idols, but focus objects. When   
praying in church, I always love to focus on the crucifix that hangs at the front of every Catholic   
Church. That is not to say that I could not pray, or that God would not hear my prayers if I   
were not focusing on a crucifix, but when I am, it seems to make the whole experience so much   
more real. As my favorite priest once said, "the sacraments make the intangible tangible." The   
key to recognizing and experiencing any miracle of God is to approach them with an open heart,   
for in the end, as always, true faith is up to us.   
  
As these thoughts rolled through my mind, I began to feel God's glory surround me. I   
knew the Lord was watching us, smiling upon us as we took another step toward Him. I   
waggled my eyebrows at my friend, and saw her suppress a smile; she knew what I was going to   
say.   
  
"God is so smart!" I squealed, sending both of us into high-spirited giggles. When we   
had at last calmed down, Melissa looked at her watch.   
  
"Woah!" she exclaimed. "It's almost in-time. Better head back to our room." I nodded   
my agreement. It was Wednesday night during the last week of camp. The camp banquet would   
be the next night, and the night after that would be our show. It being so close to curtain, our   
director, Valerie, was getting to be very strict with us.   
  
"Remember," she'd say, "easy on the dairy and chocolate, heavy on the water, and GET   
TO BED EARLY!!"   
  
"You're right," I told Melissa. "Anyway, I've gotta shower before bed." Together, we left   
the stairwell and returned to our room to prepare for bed, both of us feeling pretty darn good. I   
reflected upon what I'd discussed with Melissa as I gathered my shower supplies. All the   
miracles that people experience or hear about make God seem a lot more real. He really isn't   
just some powerful, far away force, but a real, loving being. He is present in our everyday lives.   
He wants our lives to be better, and He wants us to be full of faith. I liked that thought and   
sighed in utter contentment to prove it.   
  
A few moments later I was still in my room preparing for my shower; I always take a   
long time to get ready to shower, especially at camp. As I laid out my pajamas, Bernadette, with   
another of our cabin mates, Colleen. Both of them were laughing very hard about something,   
and frankly appeared to be quite breathless. Amidst the giggles, I could hear what sounded like   
some kind of nonsense words. At first, I thought nothing of it. It was probably some sort of   
inside joke. It really wasn't uncommon for two girls to stagger into the dorm breathless with   
laughter over some private joke. It was theater camp, after all. It is common knowledge that   
thespians are crazy, isn't it? I just shrugged and drifted over to the closet to grab my towel. As I   
did, Bernadette and Colleen stumbled out of the room and into the one across the hall,   
presumably to share the joke with the girls over there.   
  
Melissa's eyes locked with mine. She looked confused as I did. As one, we shrugged.   
Whatever the joke is, I thought with a shake of my head, it must be hilarious. At the time, I was   
actually sort of curious as to what it was. I would regret that later. Actually, I would regret it   
very soon. Just a few seconds later, Lucy, one of the girls in the room across the hall, burst into   
our room, her face a mix of anger and disbelief.   
  
"Have you seen Bernadette and Colleen?" she hissed at Melissa and me. I glanced at her,   
confused by the expression on her face.   
  
"Yeah," I answered. "They were in here a couple seconds ago. Why?" Lucy met my gaze,   
and I swallowed involuntarily. The look in her eyes made it quite clear that she knew something   
I didn't—and that the something that I didn't know was a very serious something. I had the   
sneaking suspicion that whatever Bernadette and Colleen had been laughing at was no joke.   
Lucy's answer confirmed my suspicion:  
  
"Haven't you seen how high those two are?!" 


	2. Zorba

Chapter 2  
Zorba  
  
I heard Melissa questioning Lucy, but I could not distinguish her words. I could not   
make a move to ask my own questions either. I was frozen. High? Bernadette and Colleen were   
high?   
  
The previous night…  
  
At long last, our nighttime rehearsal was over. I sat on one of the cold metal chairs in   
the theater, taking off my jazz shoes while Melissa waited for me. I was tired, my muscles were   
throbbing, and my throat was starting to hurt, but I felt GOOD. I knew my lines, I was dancing   
beautifully, and everyone in my big scenes was really working hard to put the proper energy   
into their parts. Except for my solo—I still had trouble singing loud enough—everything was   
falling into place. And I was not at all worried over my solo. I knew that I could sing loudly   
enough if I was properly warmed up beforehand. Yawning, I gathered up my script, jazz shoes,   
and my purse, and stood up.   
  
"I have to stop at the infirmary before going back to the dorm," Melissa informed me.   
"Wanna come?"   
  
"Nah," I replied. "I really have to get to bed ASAP. I'm just totally zonked." Melissa   
chuckled.  
  
"Okay then." We left the theater together, and separated in front of the girls' dormitory,   
Melissa going around back to the infirmary, me trudging upstairs to our room. Bernadette was   
the only other girl there when I got to our dorm room. She grinned at me as I entered and   
threw my script and shoes onto my bed.   
  
"Zorba!" Bernadette announced, the look on her face making it clear that this was some   
sort of inside joke. Apparently, she expected that I had heard it. I hadn't, so I just grinned in   
return.   
  
"Okayyy," I drawled teasingly. "I don't know what that is, so I'm just gonna nod and   
smile, alright?" Bernadette laughed, but still seemed to think I should understand what she was   
trying to say.   
  
"You've never heard of zorba?" she asked as I grabbed my pajamas and stepped behind   
the bed to change. I racked my brain, trying to come up with the answer. Let's see, I thought.   
Zorba the geek, Zorba the Hutt… Somehow, I was pretty sure those weren't the "zorbas"   
Bernadette was talking about.   
  
"Nope," I replied, pulling off my shirt. "What is it?" Bernadette named a combination of   
drugs.   
  
"It's, like, totally the drug of choice around my school," she announced, chortling.   
  
"Oh, really," I replied absently. Now, I'm not a person who finds drug use at all funny,   
but I know there are people out there who don't take it as seriously as I do. I was way too tired   
to start preaching about how un-funny that was, so I just decided to ignore it. As I was stepping   
into my pajama bottoms, Melissa entered the room. In the mirror that hung behind the set of   
bunk beds I shared with Nancy, I saw Bernadette eagerly shift her gaze from my back to   
Melissa's face.   
  
"Melissa, do you know what zorba is?" she asked eagerly. Melissa blinked, looking   
blankly at our roommate.   
  
"Uhh…no," she admitted. "What is it?" Bernadette repeated what she'd told me. I   
expected Melissa to either say something about how drug use was nothing to joke about, or to   
follow my example and clam up. She did neither.  
  
"Yeah, right," she said, rolling her eyes. Then, she too began changing for bed. I stared   
at my friend in surprise. There was a level of disgust in her voice that was extremely unlike her.   
Before I could question her, Colleen's roommate, Katie, came into our room.   
  
"What's up?" she asked Bernadette, who had begun laughing hysterically at Melissa's   
answer.   
  
"Melissa doesn't believe in zorba!" she crowed, and continued laughing. Katie turned to   
Melissa, her eyebrows raised.   
  
"Don't you know what zorba is?" she asked, intrigued.   
  
"Of course I know," Melissa said sharply. "Bernadette just told me what it is. I just think   
she's trying to trick me." Bernadette calmed down just enough to answer.  
  
"Seriously!" she insisted. "It's totally the drug of choice around my school!"   
  
"Kids at my school use it, too," Katie informed us. I began milling around our dorm   
room, listening to the conversation with one ear. Melissa sighed.   
  
"Look, I took a drug education course in school. They gave us a sheet with the names of   
the most popular drugs, plus a list of the most common street names for them. Nowhere on that   
sheet was there anything called 'zorba'."   
  
"Well, it's kinda new," Bernadette declared.   
  
"Whatever," Melissa responded coldly, "I still think you're making it up. And I would   
like it if you stopped, because I hate it when people do this to me." Bernadette snorted in what   
seemed like frustration. Suddenly, Colleen appeared in our doorway, a pen and a sheet of paper   
in hand.   
  
"We're ordering food," she announced. "You guys want anything." Melissa and I   
immediately declined.   
  
"Oh! Oh! I do!" Bernadette exclaimed, giggling, and scooted out of the room.   
  
"Me too!" Katie declared, and followed her out. All three of my friends disappeared from   
the doorway. Alone with Melissa, I looked at her, questioning her with my eyes. She smiled   
apologetically.   
  
"I don't believe her," she declared. She was smiling, but her voice was cold and firm. "I   
can tell she's joking. I've had friends play jokes like this on me before, Anne, and I don't like it."   
I shrugged wordlessly. I really didn't know what to say.   
  
"I'm going to bed," I said at last, and laid down to prove it. Melissa sighed.   
  
"Me too," she answered. At that moment, Katie came back into our room. For a moment,   
she stood in silence, watching Melissa silently brushing her hair.   
  
"Bernadette isn't lying, you know," she said softly.   
  
"I think she is," Melissa answered. "I've had friends play jokes like this on me before.   
I've learned to tell the difference between a joke and the truth."   
  
"I believe you, Melissa," Katie said earnestly, "and I understand. But   
Bernadette…well…I really think she could honestly be high right now."   
  
"Why would she do that?" Melissa wanted to know. Katie sighed and shook her head.   
  
"I don't know. She has a lot of personal problems. And you know, that whole thing with   
Hannah…" I nodded to myself, remembering how Bernadette had been left in tears after several   
arguments with the dance director, Hannah. I decided right then and there that I would pray for   
Bernadette. Whether or not zorba was real didn't matter. I didn't want Bernadette doing   
ANYTHING like that…  
  
…A slamming door down the hall brought me back to reality. Somehow, I was able to   
conclude that Melissa had declared that she did not believe Bernadette and Colleen were really   
high. In a daze, I gathered up my shower supplies, and started for the bathroom. In the hallway,   
I discovered that the door to Colleen's room had been shut tight. Valerie, her face a hard, angry   
mask, was seated cross-legged on the desk in the hallway, surrounded by several of my cabin   
mates. Judging by the uncontrollable giggling coming from behind the closed doorway, I   
guessed that Valerie had Bernadette and Colleen locked up in there. For a moment, I stopped,   
joining in with the crowd that had gathered around the door of Colleen's room.   
  
The door opened, and a red-faced and breathless Colleen poked her head out, giggling   
meekly. Valerie's face contorted with wrath.   
  
"Get in there!" she snarled, pulling the door shut with an earth-shattering slam. The   
counselor of the cabin that shared our floor came out of her room and shouted at us for   
slamming around while the younger girls were trying to sleep.   
  
"Don't blame us," I muttered under my breath. Suddenly, the door of Colleen's room   
opened again, and Katie hurtled out of the room with tears streaming down her cheeks. Banging   
the door shut behind her, she pushed through the crowd that had formed, and forced her way   
into Lucy's room.   
  
"Katie!" I exclaimed, dropping my stuff and following my friend into Lucy's room. Three   
other girls followed me.   
  
"What's the matter?" Julie demanded of a sobbing Katie.   
  
"It's…it's…THEM!!" she shouted through her tears. There was no need to ask who   
"them" was.   
  
"What did they do?" I asked.   
  
"They don't respect me at all!" Katie answered angrily. "I told them not to do it, but   
they were just like, 'we'll do whatever the fuck we want!' And it isn't fair! All of us are working   
hard to make this show a success, and they go and do shit like this! They don't care about the   
show, and they don't care about me, or any of us! Colleen's my roommate and I love her! And I   
love Bernadette, too! I don't want them to do any of this shit, and I'm trying to tell them to calm   
down and listen to Valerie so the rest of us can get to sleep, and they just laugh at me! They're   
just like, 'Oh, whatever.' I'm keeping in mind that they're high and incoherent, but   
still…AUGH!! DAMN THEM BOTH!! GODDAMN THEM BOTH!!" Julie sat down beside   
Katie and put her arms around her to console her.   
  
"It really isn't fair," I murmured. "It really isn't."   
  
"Here we all are, working our asses off for this show, and those two go and do   
something like this!" Katie wailed. "And they both have big parts, too! I just can't   
believe…AUGH!!" With that, she dissolved into tears again. My stomach dropped with her   
words. By golly, she was right! The show was "South Pacific." Bernadette was Bloody Mary,   
and Colleen was Nellie Forbush. Our camp always split up the major roles by songs and scenes   
to give more campers a chance at getting them, but still! Each of my high cabin mates had her   
part for pretty important scenes—scenes the show couldn't do without. What if they decided to   
do something like this on Friday night? Relax, I told myself. We'll cross that bridge when we come   
to it.   
  
Eventually, Katie calmed down enough to venture back to her room. I crossed myself as   
I watched her go. She would need God's blessing to return to that lions' den that was her room.   
I walked out into the hallway, retrieved my towel and soap, and went into the bathroom to   
fulfill my original purpose. There was little else I could do.   
  
As I showered, I considered the events of the evening. I have to admit, I felt sort of   
cheated. I'd returned to my room from the stairwell feeling as close to God as I'd ever felt.   
Then, my roommate had come back to the dorm high. It stunk. It totally stunk. Why did that   
have to happen tonight? Why tonight, when I had been feeling so wonderful, did I have to be   
brought down so cruelly? Why did it have to happen at all? How could Bernadette and Colleen   
be so inconsiderate? Why would they do that to themselves? WHY?   
  
***  
  
"You know they aren't fooling around, Melissa," I said a few moments later as I changed   
into my pajamas. Melissa, who had been seated upon the floor of our room, making a birthday   
card for one of our male friends, glanced up at me as I wrapped my wet hair up in my towel and   
moved to sit beside her.   
  
"What'd you say, Anne?" she asked.   
  
"I don't think they're kidding," I repeated. "I think Bernadette and Colleen really are   
high." Melissa pursed her lips and nodded.   
  
"I know," she replied to my mild surprise. "Katie told me the whole story." She met my   
gaze and held it for a moment.   
  
"What's the story?" I asked at last, curious in spite of myself. Melissa swallowed.   
  
"Bernadette, Katie, and Colleen were behind the science building with Dan. Dan had   
some stuff, and Bernadette and Colleen wanted to take it. Katie was trying to convince them not   
to, but they were just like, 'we'll do what we want.' And finally Katie said, 'do what you want,   
but I'm leaving.' And then…well, you know what happened next…" I nodded. I most certainly   
did know.   
  
Melissa went on, "Valerie said that she wasn't gonna tell Georgia because she doesn't   
want them to get kicked out of the show so close to curtain. But Katie said the stuff they took is,   
like, a sixteen hour high, so they'll sort of be like this tomorrow." At that moment, who do you   
suppose should stumble into our room but Bernadette and Colleen, still giggling?   
  
"We escaped!" Bernadette wheezed, and Colleen burst into peals of hysterical laughter.   
I wish you had stayed were you were, I thought with hostility. Then I remembered that Katie had   
been in there with them, and immediately squashed that thought. Katie probably didn't want to   
be locked in a room with these two any more than I did.   
  
Melissa must have seen how uncomfortable I was, because she gently touched my arm,   
and whispered, "Ignore them." Then Colleen spotted the card Melissa was making.   
  
"Ohhhh!" she squealed, doing what under normal conditions might have been   
considered a 'sexy' dance. "Is that for meeeeeeee? It's not MY birthday, but is that for   
meeeeeee?" This resulted in more laughter from the stoned twosome. I had to bite my tongue to   
keep from lashing out at them. Good gravy! How did Melissa expect me to ignore this?   
Thankfully, Katie appeared at that moment, her eyes wet, and her face an angry shade of red.   
  
"GET BACK HERE!" she shouted at the pair. "BOTH OF YOU!!" I guess she was too   
fed up with them to give them a chance to obey, because she took each of them by the wrist and   
dragged them from our dorm room. Melissa followed them out. I didn't want to be alone in case   
Bernadette wandered back into our room, so I took my toothbrush and toothpaste and went to   
the bathroom to brush my teeth.   
  
Bernadette was in there when I returned, changing into her pajamas—or at least trying   
to. At the moment, she was wearing nothing but underpants. She glanced absently at me as I   
entered, still wearing that stupid, stoned smile.  
  
"Hi, Anne!" she squeaked, giggling moronically. So help me God, I wanted to slap her at   
that moment. I didn't answer. I knew that if I opened my mouth, I would regret whatever came   
out. Thanking God that she was on the opposite side of the room, I grabbed my brush and   
stepped in front of the mirror. Furiously, I raked my brush through my long, wet hair,   
determined to ignore the strange, off-key humming that came from the other side of the room,   
highlighted by occasional snorts of laughter. As I plaited my hair into a single braid down my   
back, I heard Colleen's voice, drifting into the room from the hallway. In mirror, I saw   
Bernadette whip around, still wearing nothing but underpants and that horrible, hateful, stoned   
smile. Squealing with laughter, she shimmied her shoulders, making her bare breasts shake and   
bounce.   
  
"Look at my boobies! Look at my boobies!" she screamed, much to Colleen's delight.   
  
"Stop it!" I heard Julie shout from across the hall, echoing my thoughts.   
  
"I have underpants on, you bitches!" Bernadette shouted back. For the second time that   
night, I was frozen with shock. I thought of other times when I had walked into our dorm room   
while Bernadette was changing. Bernadette was used to living in a dorm, since she attended the   
boarding school at which our camp was held during the school year, so it didn't bother her to   
walk around with only her bra on, or to see others doing the same thing. But she knew that I   
was a very modest individual, and so made an effort to cover herself and change in secluded   
areas of our room when I was around. Looking at her now, even in the mirror, was horrible for   
me. If there had been any doubt in my mind that she was indeed high, it was wiped away in that   
moment.   
  
"Bernadette!" Katie shouted, saving me once again. "Stop that! Get back in my room!   
You're going to stay there tonight, and you are going to be quiet, got it?" With that, she   
dragged a protesting Bernadette from our dorm room, just as Melissa returned.   
  
"I think this is a test of faith," I told her.   
  
"What is?"   
  
"Bernadette and Colleen. This whole thing happening after we've just been discussing   
God. Think about it. We were all happy over how wonderful God is. Then, two of our friends   
come back to the dorm high. It's gotta be a test of faith. What do you think?" Melissa seemed to   
consider this.  
  
"I think you're right," she replied after a moment, "and I think we should pray."  
  
"You read my mind." So we crossed ourselves, and Melissa began the prayer, my heart   
repeating every word.   
  
"Holy Father," she began, "grant us strength so that we can be there for Colleen and   
Bernadette in their time of need. Watch over the two of them tonight. Grant guidance to   
Valerie, so that she can deal with this situation fairly and wisely…"  
  
"And watch over Katie, too!" I interrupted, remembering how hard she was taking this.   
  
"Right," Melissa agreed. "Watch over Katie and everyone else in this cabin. In Jesus'   
name, Amen."   
  
"Amen." I repeated. With that, we crossed ourselves and lied down for the night. But   
even after praying, I went to sleep feeling cold, lonely, and abandoned. Worse yet, I was about   
to learn that the darkest night will get even darker before the dawn…  
  
******************************************************************************  
Author's Note: Nope, my story's not over yet. Stay tuned for the third chapter. 


	3. Mocking Eyes

Chapter 3  
Mocking Eyes  
  
"Girls, it's 7:45, time to get up!" Valerie's voice shook me from a troubled sleep. It was   
morning, and time to get up for breakfast. I groaned, raised myself from my pillow, and   
promptly banged my head on the bottom of Nancy's bunk. I fell back on my pillow face first, and   
sighed noisily. After the events of last night, I had not slept well at all, and frankly this day was   
not starting out as I would have liked it to.   
  
I heard Melissa and Nancy get up and groaned again. How is it that those two can get up so   
easily? I thought darkly. I knew what was coming next, and I really didn't want it. It came   
anyway.   
  
"Anne," Melissa said softly, shaking me gently, "it's time to get up." I lifted my face from   
my pillow, and glared at her.   
  
"Alright, alright!" I said with mock-exasperation. "I'm getting up." She grinned, and   
backed off to let me get up on my own. She truly knew better than to rush me, she just never   
acted upon that knowledge. With a sigh, I literally rolled out of bed to avoid hitting my head   
again, and sat on the floor for a moment, trying to work up the energy to change out of my   
pajamas before heading down to breakfast.   
  
"Bernadette," I heard Melissa say, "it's time for breakfast." Instantly, I was awake.   
Bernadette? But Bernadette had spent the night in Colleen's room, hadn't she? I thought back to   
the night before. Yes, Katie had told us last night that Bernadette and Colleen would spend the   
night in her room while she slept on the floor of Lucy's room. I'd offered to let her have   
Bernadette's bed, insisting that she shouldn't sleep on the floor when there was a bed available,   
but she'd declined, claiming that she was too mad at Bernadette even to consider going near her   
bed. Silly, I'd thought, but I didn't argue.   
  
I looked over at Bernadette's bunk. Sure enough, there she was, groaning as Melissa   
tried to get her to wake up. I didn't see anything odd about the present situation. Bernadette   
always waited until the very last minute to get up for breakfast. Sometimes, she slept through   
breakfast all together. The only reason this situation felt any different was because of last night.   
  
"They'll sort of be like this tomorrow," Melissa had said. How convenient that we have   
morning rehearsal, I thought bitterly. And with our luck Georgia will be there to watch. My stomach   
rolled at the thought of our strict, elderly camp director walking into our rehearsal and seeing   
one Bloody Mary and one Nellie Forbush acting like escapees from a mental institution. It   
would be even worse since "South Pacific" was something of Georgia's baby. It was the show   
she started making money on, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would not   
tolerate any monkey business when the show was on the line, and I think I'd rather face an   
angry panther than Georgia in a temper.   
  
"Melissa, it'd probably be best just to leave her," I told my friend, trying not to let my   
voice shake. If Bernadette was in any way like she was last night, I didn't want to be around   
her—especially not when she was dressing. Melissa, realizing what I meant, backed off. I   
changed quickly, slipped into my sandals, nodded at an already waiting Melissa to let her know   
I was ready to go. As I was slipping out the door, I heard Bernadette get up.  
  
***  
  
At breakfast, as I patiently waited in line for cereal, one of my friends from the boy's   
cabin of our age group came up next to me in line.   
  
"Heard you had an unpleasant time last night," he said sympathetically. I didn't much   
feel like discussing it in my present nervous-and-still-half-asleep state, but I didn't want to be   
rude, either. I smiled tightly.  
  
"Very unpleasant," I said dully, helping myself to a cereal bowl. With that, I scooped   
some Golden Grams into my bowl, poured some milk over them, and swiftly returned to my   
seat. As I passed her table, Katie touched my arm. I stopped.   
  
"Umm…did you hear Bernadette come back into your room last night?" she asked   
anxiously.   
  
"No," I replied. "I was asleep." Katie sighed with relief.   
  
"Good. She was sorta calming down, so I told her she could go back to her room, but if   
that I heard any noise from her I would bring her right back to my room and lock her in." Katie   
was beginning to grind her teeth as she thought of the pair, so I decided now would be a safe   
time to drop the matter.   
  
"Don't worry," I told her. "I didn't hear anything." Katie, perhaps realizing how nuts she   
looked, tried to smile. I smiled back and hastily took my seat.  
  
Breakfast went relatively well. I sat with Melissa, Julie, and plenty of our male friends.   
We discussed the show and teasingly scolded Julie for having a glass of chocolate milk. Then,   
suddenly, I heard Valerie shout, "Get back here and sit down!"   
  
Slowly, regretfully, I turned in the direction of my director's voice. I saw her, shouting   
at someone in the kitchen, an angry-faced Katie by her side. It didn't take a genius to figure out   
whom she was shouting at. Sure enough, Bernadette and Colleen, their hands over their mouths   
to smother their laughter, slunk out of the kitchen and returned to their seats with feigned   
meekness.   
  
"Why can't you just do what you're told for two minutes?" Katie demanded of the pair,   
her voice dripping with disgust. Colleen stopped giggling and glared at her roommate.   
  
"Why don't you just mind your own business?" she shot back, and sat down heavily,   
crossing her arms over her chest and pouting. Katie sat down on the other side of the table with   
equal force, and met Colleen's angry gaze without flinching. I sighed and turned back to my   
meal, not wanting to witness the silent power-struggle going on between my two friends. As I   
silently ate, I fought to quell the anger that was rising within me again. It wouldn't do any good   
to get angry. It wouldn't undo the past. I knew I had to forgive them.   
  
Breakfast passed without further incident. Sam read us the usual assortment of   
announcements, and dismissed us for clean up before rehearsals began. It wasn't until I was   
back in the dorm that I realized that Sam had confirmed my suspicion: Georgia was indeed   
going to be at our rehearsal. I groaned. Great. Just perfect. Bernadette didn't make her bed, but   
that was nothing knew. She never made her bed. I cleaned up my area, gathered up my script   
and my jazz shoes, and headed out the door toward the Academic Center, where we would be   
rehearsing. As usual, we along with the cast of every other play had been hoping for the stage,   
but of course, our luck wasn't so hot.   
  
Or maybe I was wrong. Our rehearsal actually went pretty well. Bernadette and Colleen   
actually seemed to take Georgia's directions seriously, and never talked back (even though I'm   
sure we all felt like throwing a dance shoe at her head at one point or another during the   
rehearsal. I know I did.) Inwardly, I sighed with relief. It seemed their high had worn off at least   
enough that they recognized Georgia again (har, har). Rehearsal ended with Valerie's   
enthusiastic approval, and even Georgia paid us a grudging compliment or two. By lunchtime   
Bernadette and Colleen seemed to be back to normal, and I had soon forgotten that they were   
ever high.  
  
***  
  
That night was the camp banquet. I had been looking forward to it since I'd arrived at   
camp. After our afternoon classes ended at last, I took a quick shower, then laughed and chatted   
with my friends as I slipped into my dark blue sundress and twisted my hair into a smooth, tight   
bun. After spending fifteen minutes outside snapping pictures and the like, the whole camp filed   
into the dining room, where the tables were set with table cloths, cloth napkins, and flowers. At   
dinner, I at two pieces of chocolate cake and Valerie didn't protest. How could she? It was   
banquet!   
  
After dinner I hurried back to the dorm to change into a leotard and tights, as I, Nancy,   
and a few other girls were doing a ballet number for the class demonstrations. I got up on stage,   
performed beautifully, and received several compliments afterward. I was feeling pretty good by   
the end of the evening, and I sensed that the rest of the camp shared my emotions—but then   
again, I also knew what was coming next. After Georgia's highly emotional speech, we all put   
our arms around each other and as we swayed back and forth, we burst into a heartfelt rendition   
of our camp songs, "No Man is an Island," and "Bless This Camp." I have to admit that I got a   
little choked up. And as I left the theater afterward, I did so amidst a gaggle of my sobbing   
friends, because banquet always represents the end of camp for another year. After three weeks   
of friends and theater, it's always hard to leave it all and return home.   
  
I went through the traditional post-banquet cry-fest laughing, hugging my friends, and   
slapping at mosquitoes, and feeling as happy as can be. I felt as if nothing could destroy my joy   
this time. Boy, was I ever wrong.   
  
It happened when I was sitting on the steps outside the girls' dormitory with Melissa,   
Bernadette, Katie, Lucy, and Amber. We were laughing, talking, sniffling over camp coming to   
an end and the usual enchilada.   
  
"Oh," Bernadette said, almost as an afterthought, "about last night." My heart began to   
beat faster. I had nearly forgotten.   
  
"Yeah?" I said as casually as I could manage, expecting some sort of apology. Katie and   
Bernadette exchanged glances, grinning like a couple of maniacs.   
  
"It was all a joke," Katie crowed, "on you guys!"   
  
"We were never high," Bernadette snickered.   
  
"And there's no such thing as zorba!" Katie added. "It was all a big joke!" And the two of   
them pointed at Melissa and me, laughing hysterically. The look in their eyes at that moment,   
that horrible, mocking look, is forever ingrained in my memory.   
  
******************************************************************************  
Still more to come, peeps. Stay tuned for chapter 4! 


	4. Tears

Chapter 4  
Tears  
  
Needless to say, I was stunned. A joke? It had all been a joke? I found that extremely   
hard to believe when I remembered the way Colleen and Bernadette had acted, and how Katie   
had cried. They're incredible actresses, said the small part of me that had already accepted it. Even   
Georgia would have been fooled by their performance. Then, the rest of me finally understood what   
that meant. Katie, Colleen, and Bernadette had planned the whole thing. For them, the whole   
thing had been just like a play. Colleen and Bernadette had played the roles of the stoned   
actresses, and Katie was the caring roommate, who was terribly hurt and angry over her friends'   
stupidity. They all had had lines to say, and roles to play. To them, it was just like a show. The   
point was to convince the audience that what was happening was real. Unlike an audience in a   
show, however, I had not consented to being fooled. And I didn't like being fooled one bit.   
Neither did Melissa, apparently.   
  
"That wasn't funny," my friend said flatly when Katie and Bernadette were out of   
earshot.   
  
"Yeah, it really wasn't," Amber agreed, shifting uncomfortably, "I mean, it was funny for   
us, because we knew it wasn't real, but…"   
  
"You knew?" Melissa demanded. "Who else was in on this?"   
  
"Pretty much everyone except you guys and Julie," Lucy piped up casually. "Even   
Valerie was in on it." Now that really hurt. Without another word, Melissa stomped up the   
stairs and into the girls' dorm with me right behind her.   
  
I just couldn't believe this was happening. I thought back to last night, the image of   
Bernadette shaking her naked breasts still fresh in my mind. All along she had known perfectly   
well that I would be offended by her action, yet she did it anyway, all to convince me of   
something that was not true. It was even worse when I thought of the events of two nights ago.   
Melissa had said that she didn't believe zorba was real, that she'd had friends play such jokes on   
her before, and that she did not appreciate such jokes one bit. Katie could have nipped it in the   
bud right there. But she didn't. She'd went on letting Melissa believe it was real, even though   
she knew that Melissa would have been really hurt when it was revealed that it wasn't. And for   
what? A cheap laugh at our expense? A bit of fun? Why had they done this? Didn't they care at   
all about us, or what we felt?   
  
It took me a moment to realize that we had reached our dorm room. Even then, I just   
stood in the middle of the room while Melissa pulled off her dress and angrily yanked on her   
street clothes.  
  
"That really wasn't funny," she growled. I raised my eyes to her face and wished I   
hadn't. She was smiling, but I could see her teeth grinding, and her eyes were   
uncharacteristically hostile. In that moment, I actually found myself afraid of one of my best   
friends.   
  
"It wasn't," I agreed softly.   
  
"You know, all that time, there was something about them that made me doubt that   
they were really high, and if they had said that it was zorba they were high on, I wouldn't have   
believed them at all!"  
  
"But they didn't say," I pointed out needlessly.   
  
"I really feel like they singled us out," Melissa continued.   
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"You know what that felt like to me?" she asked rhetorically. "It felt like they were   
trying to say, 'Let's see if we can get the Catholic girls to judge us'." I hadn't thought of that,   
but now that I did, it seemed as if it could be possible. After all, it was no secret that Melissa and   
I are Catholic. Last year, we always had to get up two hours before breakfast to go to mass, and   
this year, everyone saw us leaving just before Sunday inspection. Not to mention the fact that   
we left our Bibles and prayer books out in the open. I had even invited Nancy and Bernadette to   
join in the search when I misplaced my "How to Pray the Rosary" booklet. I was silent as I   
contemplated this new possibility. Were they really opposed to our religion, or was the fact that   
we were open about it? Were they testing us? What had possessed them to pull such a stupid   
stunt? Somehow, that didn't seem like them at all.   
  
"Maybe," I agreed reluctantly, my doubt waning quickly. It just made too much sense.   
Melissa sighed.   
  
"I'm trying not to be bitter," she said, "I know I should forgive them, but frankly, I am   
bitter."   
  
Believe me, Melissa, I thought, I can tell. Out loud, I said, "I want to know why."   
  
"Why what?"  
  
"Why they did this to us. I have to confront them, and ask them why." I may not be able   
to remember my exact words, but I'm willing to bet the world that I was giving off "I am   
seriously upset" vibes. Perhaps that is why Melissa protested my decision, not saying that I   
shouldn't confront them, but saying that I should wait until I had calmed down a bit and the   
like. She might have said I should wait until after the show, so as not to spoil anyone's   
performance. I think she reminded me of an incident the previous year, when our two   
roommates had gotten into a squabble over a missing straightening iron. I wouldn't hear of it. I   
wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't get the information I wanted. I wanted to know WHY and I   
wanted to know NOW. But I also wanted Melissa there for moral support. If she wouldn't come,   
I wouldn't go. With what felt like a black face, I walked over to the desk and absently kneeled   
before it, opening the drawer that I had claimed as my own on the first day of camp.   
  
"They said Valerie was in on it, too. I want to know why she agreed to it. She's a   
counselor, and for her to be playing a joke like this is…" I struggled to find the right word.   
  
"Not right?" Melissa suggested. I nodded silently.   
  
"I at least want to ask her why SHE was a part of this!" Melissa again went into gentle   
protest. She wanted to know, too, but seemed reluctant to actually ask. At least, that was the   
impression I got. I wasn't really listening. I was thinking, wondering why, why, why, why,   
WHY Colleen, Bernadette, and Katie had played such a cruel, cruel joke on us. Was it a test of   
faith, as I had originally thought? Did they think they could get us to judge them? Did they   
think we were stupid or something? A loud sob bubbled up with in me and escaped. I sensed,   
rather than saw, Melissa stop cold; she knew I hated to cry more than the average teenaged girl.   
  
"Anne?" she asked in a shaking voice. "Are you alright?" By now there were tears on my   
cheeks, and I knew I would not be able to fight them off much longer.   
  
"No," I admitted. Immediately, Melissa came to kneel beside me, putting her arm around   
my shoulders. Before long, we were both crying, and I was praying with all my might that   
Colleen, Bernadette, and Katie would stay outside so they would not come in and see us   
blubbering like lost children.   
  
"Why did they do this?" I sobbed over and over again. "Do they think I'm such an idiot?   
I certainly feel like one right now!"  
  
"No, Anne, you're not!" Melissa continued to assure me. "You're NOT an idiot! You're   
not!"   
  
"Well, they must have thought I was! Why'd they do it? Why?"   
  
"I don't know!" my friend admitted. "But at least we can be glad that they really weren't   
high, right?"   
  
"That's the only thing I can be glad of right now!" I growled bitterly. I think it must   
have occurred to me at some point that I was being extremely melodramatic. Then again, I'm an   
actress. Melodrama in times of great pain and sorrow is to be expected from me. I can assure   
you, faithful reader, I do not burst into tears over just anything. I really was very upset. I was   
upset enough to cry, and that bothered me. My friends had just played a joke on me. Pranks at   
camp were nothing new. It was a mean prank, granted, but I still thought I should have been   
able to brush it off, or maybe grumble about it for a while and forget it, especially since I was   
not the only one on the receiving end of the joke. But instead, I had been brought to tears, and I   
didn't know why this affected me so. It bugged me! It really bugged me!   
  
"I at least want to ask Valerie why she was in on it," I murmured when I had calmed   
down enough to speak softly. It occurred to me that perhaps Valerie's involvement in the joke   
was the reason I was so upset. I had always loved and respected Valerie. I just thought she was   
so cool. But after this, frankly my respect for her had dropped a good bit. To my mild surprise,   
Melissa agreed, and even offered to help me find our director. We went out the back of the   
dorm, not wishing to encounter any of our friends in front. As it turned out, we had to go   
around to the front to find Valerie anyway. Fortunately, though, none of the other girls in our   
cabin saw us.   
  
"Valerie," Melissa began, eyeing the other counselors surrounding Valerie nervously,   
"can we talk to you? In private?" Valerie, immediately sensing that something was up, agreed   
quickly, and dragged us off to a spot where she knew we would not be heard.   
  
"What's wrong?" she asked. I looked at Melissa, begging her with my eyes to introduce   
the topic. She did.   
  
"It's about the joke that Colleen, Bernadette, and Katie played on us last night. The   
whole high thing."   
  
"We felt singled out," I said softly. Melissa nodded.   
  
"And they told us you were in on it, and we were wondering…"  
  
"If it was true?" Valerie guessed. We both nodded. With a sympathetic sigh, Valerie told   
us her side of the story.   
  
She had not been consulted about the joke beforehand, and frankly she hadn't found it   
funny at all. When Bernadette and Colleen had come into the dorm, she had seriously believed   
something could have been wrong. But then, in Colleen's room, behind a closed door, they had   
revealed everything to her. Thinking that letting it go on for just that night would have been   
the best way to control them so that the rest of us could get to sleep, as she wanted us to, she   
had agreed, on one condition: they had to tell us after banquet. Originally, they had been   
planning to let it go on until the end of camp.   
  
And when had they planned on revealing it to us? I wondered angrily. Before the show? After   
the show? At lock-in? Valerie went on to explain that she had also warned the girls that if any of   
us had come to her, saying we were concerned, she would reveal all, because she absolutely   
would NOT lie to her campers. I realized then that I could have spared myself the humiliation. I   
had considered going to Valerie. Why hadn't I? Valerie sighed again.   
  
"I apologize on their behalf," she said. "I'm sure they didn't mean to single you out.   
They just wanted to have some fun, and didn't consider the consequences. I'm afraid girls like   
those three don't think beyond their own circle, and I'm sorry you guys had to go through this."   
My respect for Valerie was greater than ever. Unfortunately, I was also crying harder than ever.   
I had hoped that Valerie could tell me why they had done what they had done. I had almost   
hoped that it truly was because they hated me and thought I was an idiot. At least then, I would   
know where I stood with those three. From what Valerie had told me, it seemed that I was on   
the "just don't care" pile of people in the minds of Colleen, Bernadette, and Katie. And that felt   
even worse than being hated. I tried to calm myself down to no avail. Valerie pulled me into a   
warm, loving hug, then embraced Melissa and left to let us comfort one another.   
  
Melissa led me over to the ramp that led up to the pool entrance to sit down. It was a   
good spot, I thought. The only people who would see us were people heading over to the boys'   
dormitory, and I bet that if anyone could tell that I was crying, they would assume I was just   
another among the majority of campers who cried at banquet. Folding my arms on the railing in   
front of me, I buried my head in my arms and let the last of my tears trickle from my eyes.   
Melissa patted my back.   
  
"Don't you feel better now?" she asked tearfully. "At least we know Valerie wasn't in on   
it. At least, not in the way they made us think she was."   
  
"Yeah," I admitted, "but I still want to know why those three did it." I didn't need to   
explain myself any further. Melissa knew what I meant. There was an exaggerated silence,   
during which I absently scanned the sky. The stars are so bright at camp. I live in the suburbs,   
so on clear nights, I can see the stars, but it's nothing like at camp, in rural Wisconsin. At camp,   
the stars are bright, clear, and sharp, and they seem so real. Its almost like at any moment, they   
could fall from the sky and cover us like silver glitter. Usually, Heaven seems very close on a   
night like that one. Unfortunately, though, on that particular night, Heaven felt miles beyond   
my reach.   
  
"You know," Melissa said, breaking into my thoughts, "I find it a lot easier to forgive   
Colleen and Katie than Bernadette." I glanced at her curiously.   
  
"Why?"  
  
"It's mostly the way her eyes looked when she laughed at us. Her eyes were just so   
mocking, like she actually meant to hurt us. Katie just looked like she honestly thought it was   
funny, but Bernadette looked like she really wanted to hurt us. And her eyes are always so   
mocking—its like she ALWAYS wants to hurt people. I feel sorry for her, but I still find it so   
hard to forgive her mocking eyes."   
  
Of course, I'd noticed the mocking look in Bernadette's eyes as she laughed at Melissa   
and me, but I'd never noticed it beforehand. I thought back over the past three weeks, trying to   
remember if Bernadette had ever mocked me with her eyes. She had teased me occasionally, but   
I had never really detected any malice from her. I had always thought her to be sweet and kind.   
She took interest in my writing, and even my praying, and had just always acted so kindly   
toward me. Then again, she had also always been somewhat brash and sassy. Occasionally, I had   
even known her to say things that offended me—which she probably knew offended me. I'd   
always written it off as her lips moving as she thought. I, too, struggled with a too-quick   
tongue. And Bernadette had always apologized when she realized that I was within earshot.   
Except, now that I thought about it, I realized that I could always hear the sarcasm in her voice   
when she did. And yes, I had seen the mocking look in her eyes. But I had not wanted to believe   
it was there, and so I had forgotten about it. Suddenly, I knew why the whole prank had upset   
me so.   
  
"Melissa," I croaked, fresh tears stinging my eyes, "I feel like I'm reliving third grade. I   
just keep remembering one moment over and over again…" Melissa gazed at me, her eyes   
patient and understanding.   
  
"Do you want to tell me?" she asked after a few moments of awkward silence. I nodded.   
Blinking back tears, I focused on the starry, starry sky, and took a deep breath. I was afraid of   
the memory I was about to unearth. I had already told Melissa about Sandy, the girl whom I   
had called my best friend in third grade, but who had been anything but. I had vaguely   
explained about how Sandy had used me and often left me alone and crying on the playground.   
But the particular incident I was about to relay to my friend was one that I had never told   
anyone…  
  
******************************************************************************  
Am I mean to end the chapter there? Sorry. But fear not. There is only one chapter left, and that   
is the most important one. It is the one in which I finally reveal the spiritual message that was   
revealed to me. And yes, I am going to tell the story that I told Melissa. My story wouldn't be   
complete without it. Thank you to everyone who had reviewed so far, I've really enjoyed your   
involvement in my little tale. Keep reviewing, okay? Thanks. 


	5. Lights in the Sky

Chapter 5  
Lights in the Sky  
  
"Sandy had this friend, a girl named Patty. Patty was Sandy's crony, and she always did   
whatever Sandy wanted her to do. When Sandy was on friendly terms with me, so was Patty.   
When Sandy was snubbing me, so was Patty."  
  
"She was Sandy's puppet, then?" Melissa asked gently. I smiled wryly, and nodded.   
  
"Yeah. She was her puppet. Anyway, I remember one time…I forget what I had done   
this time, but it was something that Sandy considered enough of a reason to drop me again. We   
sat at the same table at lunch that day. We had three seats all in a row, and Sandy and I sat on   
either side of Patty. All through lunch, Sandy would whisper something to Patty, and Patty   
would relay the message to me. I never replied. I just sat there, pretending not to hear.   
  
"Now, earlier, I had told Sandy about this boy that I had a crush on. I remember sitting   
there and watching Patty listen to the next message Sandy wanted to pass to me. Then Patty   
turned to me, this stupid, exited grin on her face. She was SMILING! And then she told me,   
'Sandy says the next part might hurt your feelings.'"   
  
"She was SMILING?" Melissa asked incredulously. I nodded, wiping tears from my   
eyes.   
  
"Yeah, she was smiling. And then she got another message from Sandy, turned to me,   
and said, 'Kiss Ryan.' And then they got up, threw the rest of their lunch away, and walked out   
to the playground with their arms around each other, once again leaving me alone and crying."   
By this time, I really was crying again, the old hurt and anger that I had long ago buried   
burning hot inside me. Even though Sandy had moved at the end of third grade, it still hurt to   
think of her, and how all year she had dropped me over the most trivial matters, and then picked   
me up again when it suited her. I had sorta stopped initiating friendships after that; I was too   
afraid I'd come across another Sandy. I've only just recently begun to get over that, thanks to   
the arrival of some earth-bound angels.   
  
"I'm sorry," Melissa said softly.   
  
"And it wasn't even the fact that she was saying those things!" I said angrily. "I   
remember that after they walked out, some of my real friends tried to comfort me. They were   
always trying to tell me that she was treating me like dirt, but I wouldn't listen. I didn't want to   
believe that my 'best friend' was anything but that! And my real friends would even try to get   
Sandy to take me back, because they knew that would make me happy. And like an idiot, I just   
let myself believe that they were just jealous of our friendship! Now, I'm seeing Sandy and Patty   
all over again. I thought those girls were my friends, but in reality, they didn't give a shit about   
me! And I was just too blind to see what was right in front of me!" Melissa didn't mention my   
swearing. She knew I only swore when I was extremely upset.   
  
"You know," she said after a moment, "the only thing I really hated about this whole   
thing was their mocking eyes. I just find their eyes so hard to forgive. It's like, I dunno,   
blindfolding someone, and then poking them and asking, 'who poked you? Who poked you?' and   
just…mocking them…like they did to Jesus."   
  
She said that last part in a low, awed whisper. I looked toward my friend, my eyes wide   
with shock. By golly, she was right! For a moment, we only stared at each other, trying to make   
sense of what Melissa had just said. Suddenly, my friend gasped and burst into tears. With a   
bemused chuckle, I put my arms around her and held her tightly. My eyes were wet with tears,   
but I could not cry. I was too full of joy.  
  
He understood! The Almighty understood! He, just like me, just like my friends, had   
been hurt and betrayed by people He trusted. He had suffered every hardship I had and had   
endured even worse for all of us!   
  
"He went through something like this for me!" I whispered. "He didn't have to, but He   
did."   
  
"He's so wonderful!" Melissa sobbed into my shoulder. It occurred to me that anyone   
who saw us at the moment would probably think WE were high—or drunk, or just sentimental.   
But I could care less what they thought.   
  
"You think that's what He was trying to tell us?" I asked Melissa, who nodded into my   
shoulder, and we broke our embrace. Grinning like and absolute maniac, I stared at the sky, at   
that endless sea of stars. Heaven felt close again. Of course, it always HAD been close. It was   
never far away, because its King was never far away. Sandy and Patty had never left me alone.   
Hurt, angry, and crying, yes, but not alone. I am never, ever, EVER alone. Through my whole   
life, God has been with me, and he has understood every hardship I have ever faced. When I was   
a fragile, eight-year-old child, crying beside the swing set because Sandy had dumped me again,   
God had been there, crying along with me, hurt because I was hurt. He was with Melissa and   
me now, stretching out a hand to comfort us in our time of hurt and anger. When we feel hurt,   
so does God. The pain of His children is His own, and He wants us to turn to Him in times of   
sorrow.   
  
As these thoughts rolled through my mind, I felt God's glory surround me, and just as I   
had in the stairwell the previous night, I felt my Lord at my shoulder, smiling upon me and my   
friend as we took another step toward Him.   
  
"I just want to scream it to the world," I said aloud, " 'God is so smart'!" Melissa laughed   
through her tears. I giggled softly, sniffling. We sat in silence for a moment, during which time   
I stared up at the heavens, in awe over what I had just learned. As I stared up at that starry,   
starry sky, something caught my eye.   
  
It was a star. At least, it was the size of a star (as we see them from Earth, I mean). In   
spite of its size, however, I knew it could not be a star. Stars did not travel across the sky, unless   
they were shooting stars, either. Besides, to my knowledge, shooting stars didn't blink red like   
an airplane. I nudged my friend.   
  
"Melissa!" I hissed, pointing at the tiny, blinking dot. "What do you think that is?"   
Melissa's gaze followed my finger. She shrugged.   
  
"An airplane?" she guessed. I shook my head. I live fairly close to an airport, so I'm used   
to seeing airplanes in the night sky. Despite popular belief, they do NOT look like blinking,   
moving stars. It is very hard to mistake them for stars. They look more like large red dots with   
stars tailgating them.   
  
"It looks too high to be an airplane," I demurred. "And it's moving too fast." Melissa   
gave the thing a second glance.   
  
"You're right!" she exclaimed, getting to her feet. "Maybe someone else knows what it   
is! C'mon!" Taking a hint, I stood up, and followed her toward the girl's dorm, making sure to   
keep the UFO in sight.   
  
"Lisa! Emma!" Melissa called to two of our friends. Both turned their attention to us.   
Melissa stopped beside them, and pointed to the thing in the sky.   
  
"Do you guys know what that is?" she asked. Lisa looked at the thing, then at us. The   
look on her face made it clear that she thought we were nuts.   
  
"It's an airplane," she said, speaking as if I were a very small child who had just claimed   
she had seen a dragon in the sky. I rolled my eyes and repeated what I had told Melissa. The   
thing was too high, too fast to be a plane. But my friends continued to insist that was what it   
was. I didn't press the matter. I was willing to admit that my home was much closer to the   
airport than the camp was. I usually saw the planes when they were still climbing, and they   
were still near enough to the ground for me to hear them. Maybe planes really did look that   
small from our particular location. (Although I still didn't think I had ever seen a plane move so   
fast before.) But I didn't press the matter. We returned to the dorm, Melissa going into the   
lounge to watch a movie with some of the other girls, me returning to our room to change,   
promising to join them in a few minutes. Bernadette was there when I got to our room. We   
exchanged words, and inevitably, our conversation shifted to her little prank. She was still   
delighting over the fact that she had fooled us.   
  
"Even Valerie was in on it!" she informed me, smirking. I busied myself arranging my   
dolls upon my bed so as not to face my roommate and let her see the hurt upon my face. I'll   
admit it. Her words still stung.   
  
"Actually that's not true," I objected softly. "Melissa and I talked to Valerie, and she told   
us the truth."   
  
"What's she say?" I repeated what Valerie had told us.   
  
"Oh," Bernadette said thoughtfully. "Now, why did you guys talk to her?" I paused.   
What kind of a question was that? Why did Bernadette want to know why we had spoken with   
our director? At first I hesitated to reply. Did I tell her the truth? Well, the truth was usually   
the best option. Good heavens. This was it. This was when I finally relayed my feelings to the   
one who had hurt them. To tell my roommate exactly how I felt would be like standing to   
Sandy, something which I had never had the guts to do, and which I still sorta regret. I turned   
away from my bed to look Bernadette in the eye. If I couldn't face her now, it would never   
happen. For a moment, there was an expectant silence; Bernadette was waiting for an answer. I   
shrugged.   
  
"We felt singled out." I said simply. "We felt like all you guys were just trying to trick   
us." Bernadette's cocky grin dropped off her face and crashed on the floor, replaced by a look   
of…regret?   
  
"We weren't singling you two out," she told me, her voice trembling slightly. "Actually,   
we were a lot worse to Julie." That wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear—Julie IS one of my   
good friends—but I acted on it anyway.   
  
"Well, it certainly felt like you singled us out." I told her, trying desperately to keep the   
bitterness out of my voice. I didn't want to make Bernadette defensive or anything. It seemed to   
work. She didn't get defensive. As a matter of fact, she actually looked stricken.   
  
"Then, I apologize," she said earnestly, "Profusely! We didn't mean it that way at all!"   
My eyes searched her face until she turned away to pull off her shirt. I smiled at her back. There   
had been no mocking look in her eyes that time. You may think I'm too trusting (go ahead and   
say it. Most of my friends think so, too) but I really believed Bernadette. Something in my heart   
told me she meant what she said. Admittedly, it could have been my own need to hear her say   
she was sorry that led me to believe her, but somehow I doubt that.   
  
"God, Anne," Bernadette muttered, sounding embarrassed. "I really am sorry."  
  
"It's alright," I assured her. "I've already forgiven you." And I had. I thought back to   
what Katie had said two nights ago, the first time I had heard of zorba: "Bernadette has a lot of   
personal problems." The whole thing might have been an act, but something told me that part   
could have been true. It made me wonder. Had she, like me, like all the members of my circle of   
friends back home, been hurt, betrayed, or ridiculed in her past? I thought of two members of   
my group back home. They had both been put on the defensive by their experiences. They drew   
back when people came too close. One in particular felt the need to push everyone away by   
mocking and insulting them. Was that perhaps one of the reasons Bernadette had done what she   
did? I stopped when I thought this. It was a possibility I had never considered before, and one   
which I was not sure I wanted. Well, if God had given it to me, there had to be a reason. I   
decided I would keep Bernadette in my prayers. Even if my new insight was not at all true, it   
couldn't hurt to pray for my roommate. Over the three weeks we had roomed together, I had   
grown to love her. I wanted her to be happy—but then, I want everyone to be happy. I shook   
my head, grinning bemusedly. That's why everyone back home calls you a people-pleaser, I thought to   
myself.   
  
I finished changing, and joined a gaggle of my cabin mates in the lounge to watch a   
movie. As we sat there together, laughing and talking, I felt my eyes grow misty. Two more   
nights, I thought sadly. There's the show tomorrow, then lock-in on Saturday, and then that's it. On   
Sunday we say good-bye, going back home until next summer. I sighed, wondering just how many of   
us would be back the following year.   
  
"Melissa! Anne!" My sentiments were interrupted by Lisa's voice. I glanced up at my   
friend as she came into the room, and furrowed my brow curiously. She looked very excited.   
  
"Yes?" I asked. Lisa smiled mysteriously, and glanced from me to Melissa, making sure   
she had our undivided attention.   
  
"That thing you saw in the sky!" she said. "It was the Northern Lights!"   
  
******************************************************************************  
Yes, I apparently saw the Northern Lights in rural Wisconsin. I consider it a possible sign from   
Heaven. You can call it whatever you like. Anyway, the moral of my story is that you are never,   
ever, EVER alone. God is always with you, always watching and guiding. Your pain is His pain.   
Trust Him with your pain. He wants to stop you from hurting, and He WILL make the pain   
end. Melissa told me a quote that goes like this: "Everything will be alright in the end. If it isn't   
alright, then it isn't the end." Never give up hope. God is with you, and things will always get   
better. The darkest night always ends with the dawn. Hold on.   
  
Now, I would like to thank everyone who had read all the way through my story. I am so   
grateful to be able to share my faith journey with you all. I'll be even happier if you leave a   
review. (Sorry, I couldn't resist. ^_^;) Anyway, please continue to support my writing. If you   
like the stuff I post in the Bible section, I will continue to post it. (I plan to make my next post a   
story about the circle of friends I mentioned in this story, because I feel it was by the grace of   
God that we found one another. But more on that later.) Thankies much for reading, and don't   
forget to review. 


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